| Farewell Speech |
[17 Dec 2005|08:31am] |
I'll keep it short and simple.
Girls are making a big deal of my blogs. So I will start over by creating a new one.
The URL of the new one will be sent to TRUE FRIENDS only.
So this is .g.o.o.d.b.y.e. to the wonderful world of underage_ozgirl's LJ.
It was a nice, nice time. And I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.
-Angel-
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| Madness |
[11 Dec 2005|01:59am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 gone mad |
] |
| [ |
music |
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God's voice in my head |
] |
it is madness to hate all ** roses ** because you got scratched with one -->thorn<--,
to give up on your ~ dreams ~ because one didn't come true,
to lose faith in ++prayers++ because one was not answered,
to give up on your e.f.f.o.r.t.s because one of them failed,
to c-o-n-d-e-m-n all your friends because one betrayed you,
not to believe in <3 LOVE <3 because someone was unfaithful or didn't love you back,
to throw away all your $$chances to be happy$$ because you did not succeed on the first attempt.
i hope that as you go on your way, you don't give in to madness the way i have.
remember always that another chance may come up,
another (: friend :),
<3 a new love <3,
a renewed ^^strength^^.
be .p.e.r.s.i.s.t.e.n.t.
look for happiness in every day.
I had work today.
[-Photo Shoot-]
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| Missin the Lissin |
[08 Dec 2005|02:41am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 sleepy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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*yawn* *yawn* |
] |
It's strange how you never truly realize how much you miss a person until you actually see that person again.
Don't worry. I am no longer talking about the asshole I have been talking about in my previous entries.
No. I am talking about a girlfriend.
A lady I was once super tight with. But got torn apart by High School drama. You know how it goes.
I never realized how much I truly missed her until I saw her at six a.m. this morning. We hugged and were all giddy and had ciggys and talked while waiting for my driver to show up --which took ages!
Well, out of wee-hrs-of-the-morning-texting and a lil bit of tipsyness last nite, we ended up going to the place where our friendship *and all the shit that came along with it* started to take place: [-The American School of Bangkok-]
Today just made us both remember why we were so damn happy to leave that place in the first place.
Liss dropped her phone in my car, so she was practically phone-less the entire day.
We later on found out that she dropped her lighter, too. So we had to keep borrowing one from random people. Some random dudes who were walking down the streets outside. Sam. Mohammed. Some driver by the gate. Not to mention the many people we asked who didn't have any, Danny and Earth being the only ones worth mentioning. Lol.
Still later, she realized she lost her wallet somewhere. Faaaak, man!
It all seems like such a blur.
Everyone seemed to be so mean to us.
Get this: ten minutes upon entering the school, we got paged! "I am looking for Melissa Brugger and Angel Rodriguez. If anyone sees them, pls tell them to report to the Principal's office." WTF! Out of the two years I spent studying in ASB, i never got paged. Ever! We were scared shitless, so we left the campus for a ciggy to calm down before coming back. You know what the principal wanted? He wanted us to leave campus. We weren't wanted!!! 0;( But then we promised to remain inconspicuous *which we didn't achieve --Mr. Steve told us off three times*, so we were allowed to stay.
It's such a pain because Handsome and Harsh came to visit, too. And they didn't get told off. Fuckers.
Had the school's Moo Ping. So amazing. Missed it! <3
Practically just bummed around and got a few students to break the rules with us *ciggys, anyone?*
Spied on the guys changing for gym class. Yum yum.
Flirted with my Marcheepoo. He's sooo cuuuute! Ahhh. He and I are kinda going out. Well, we're going out. But he just doesn't know it yet. Lol. He knows about what happened with whatsisface, btw. Sigh. Everyone knows.
Liss bonded with EuGin, and Mr. Paul ended up teasing them. Hahaha. Just like old times.
We actually watched the Christmas show, eventually. Lol.
The John-Nae skit was the only part that was actually entertaining. Evan was pretty hot. Mmmh. Jayson was HOT on drums! What can I say? I'm a sucker for drummers, man!
Most of the ASB singers sucked major ass. My eardrums were hurting on the way home. And I was so tired the entire day because I haven't slept since 11a.m., Tuesday.
I really better go sleep now. I'm dying here. *yawn*
Leave me comments, people! 0:)
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| Your Favorite Mistake |
[06 Dec 2005|03:06am] |
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mood |
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 torn apart |
] |
| [ |
music |
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my heart breaking..... |
] |
He apologized to me. Over and over and over again.
He messaged me. Called me. Came over to see me.
And something was telling me not to believe him. But then I made one wrong move: I looked into his eyes. And he got me hooked onto him all over again.
&&I hate myself for being so weak.
I was seconds away from forgiving him. When all of a sudden, he told me that there was someone else. No, actually, not just someone else. There were THREE someone else's. What's worse is, he thought that I would be okay with it. Why? Coz he thought I had someone else on the side, as well. What an *insert a looooooooooong censooooooooor here*!
And it was Jayz Time all over again.
( 'Jayz Time' )
I was in shock. And I didn't know whether I was supposed to get pissed. Or cry.
It didn't really register until a few seconds later.
But I could literally feel my heart breaking. Into unfixable pieces.
And I did the most hysterical thing in the world, I thought I was going mad: I laughed.
I laughed and laughed and laughed. Hoping that the pain would go away.
But, of course, it didn't.
And I didn't wake up, either. It was all real.
He looked like he wanted to explain but I didn't want him to. I knew what he would say. Recycled phrases and mixed-up words, all trying to cover up the taste of other girls all over his lips. And all over his pencil dick. Ugh.
I couldn't forgive him. I told myself I shouldn't. Everyone told me I shouldn't.
And he saw the hatred in my eyes.
And I forced myself not to look into his, to prevent falling into the depths of it once again.
But I looked anyways. And more tears fell.
I don't remember what I said to him, but he got mad.
He screamed at me.
He said I was f.u.c.k.e.d u.p.
He said I was the most stupid mistake he ever made in his life.
He said I was just a fuckbuddy and that he never really cared about me.
And three months and a week or so were all .....d.o.w.n. .t.h.e. .d.r.a.i.n.....
My reply? Utter silence. And tears. Let's not forget the tears.
The deepest feelings always show themselves .....i.n. .s.i.l.e.n.c.e.....
I tried to look on the bright side. Making a mistake is a lot better than not doing anything, right?
BS!!!
Well, if I really was just a stupid mistake, I hope I was your favorite one.
There are so many things that I would like to say to you but I just don't know how.
I just wish I could get you. Get you away from wanting anyone else but me.
It's not up to me anymore if you want me in your life.
You'll find a way to put me there.
Or at least, God will.
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| My Personal Sun |
[30 Nov 2005|03:33pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 happy-pilled! |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Happy Boitday To Yah! 0:) |
] |
I'm so proud of my artistic skills. 0:)
Haha. I posted this, like, everywhere, already.
But yah. Last time *I hope --for all your sakes*.
Anyhow, here's a nice post dedicated to my one and my only BaBY Boi, JohN!
( [- Why I Love This Guy -] )
I've known you for..... Hmmm..... Quite a while now.
And we've grown to be good friends.
Yes, after all the shit, we've managed to become good friends. 0;)
And I'm really glad we did.
Not only do I have a kuya to look out for me while my own real kuya is miles away,
but I've also got *~my personal sun~* to shine down on me even when it rains.
That's John Del Castillo. Or VJ John. Or whatever else you choose to call him.
That's my ________ rite thurr! --> censored, so you can't steal the name away. Haha. 0;)
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| Oh, Tannenbaum! |
[27 Nov 2005|08:56pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 jolly!!! |
] |
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music |
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tralalalalala..... |
] |
Ahhh. I'm in a jolly, jolly mood! 0:)
Christmas is definitely in the air, at least in the Rodriguez' household *which is, btw, my last name*. 0:)
* The Christmas decorations are all up. The tree, the wreath..... although we still need much more pretty lights. I wanna get those star thingies they have in Emporium. Those were purrr-tyyy. 0:)
* Our tree's colorful lights even play Christmas songs that are currently dancing around and singing in my head. 0:)
* I know Santa is coming this year. Coz I've been as nice as nice can get. 0:) So I need to fish for my 18-year-old stocking and hang it at my door, filled with a looooong Christmas list. 0:)
* Instead of laughing my usual boisterous "ha ha ha"s. I feel like laughing boisterous "ho ho ho"s! 0;p
* Our housekeeper's ringtone is "Jingle Bells" and my dad has started his jokes about my Tita Bingle --Bingle Bells! *corny* 0;p
* I wear red more often. With green. Hihi. 0:)
* The cold weather is the perfect excuse to wear sweatshirts to school. 0:)
* Whenever I see something cute at stores, I start thinking about my friends and what to get them for Christmas.
One major problem for this Christmas, though:
* I've made far too many friends this past year that I've developed really close friendships with. And I don't think I made enough money writing for the newspaper and Metro magazine to buy them all what I wanted to buy them. *sigh* Plus, there's my two boylets I gotta think of, too. Hmmm.
Finals end this Friday.
And then I'm free for a month. Yippeeee! 0:)
[-On this girl I hate-]
[-Lil Dose of Happy Pills-]
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| One Year? It's Not! |
[24 Nov 2005|02:25am] |
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mood |
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tired...... |
] |
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music |
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cars zooming outside |
] |
All [-my l blogs-] tonite are rants-slash-sermons. Ah. Just click on those to see what I mean.
And keep reading.
*>--I'm sorry if anyone gets ouch-ed or offended by this in any way.
It is not my intention to offend, but to get my thoughts out in the open.--<*
I think it is utterly stupid to celebrate so-called ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARIES when you haven't technically been going out for one year. So. That just sounded extremely stupid. Let me explain.
Couple 1. They fight often. No, make that a lot. They break up every week for days at a time. During those days, they both make out with other people, claiming that they've broken up with the other one for good. Then they get back together. Break up. Make out with others. Get back. Break up. And the cycle continues. They're celebrating their one year anniversary soon.
Couple 2. Boy cheated on girl with uhm..... Me. *cough* Anyway. Boy got all nervous about it. Boy spilled the beans to girl. Girl slapped him in the face. Girl broke up with him. Two months pass. Boy apologizes to girl. Boy asks girl back. Girl accepts. They're celebrating their one year anniversary next month.
Couple 3. "It's over. Finito. Got it?" Boy nods sadly. It's been six months since the break up. "It would have been our anniversary today," he says.
Sheesh.
Couple 1. >> Don't get me started or I won't stop. Bottom line: You guys aren't even a real couple to begin with!!!
Couple 2. >> You broke up and weren't together for like, two months! How can you say it's your anniversary next month? Technically, it's either you start counting from when you got back together. Or you subtract the two months from the year, which makes it only your tenth monthsary. Am I making it complicated? Ah. You'll get my logic if you analyze it well.
Couple 3. >> Well, this just goes to the boy, really. It's over. Move on. Please.
Ahhh. I'm over-reacting, aren't I?
Ever since I was in an on-off relationship a few years ago, I gave up on the monthsary-slash-anniversary counting process.
I think it's funny how my current guy counts how long we've been going out based on my menstruation cycle.
Yes, you read right.
"You've had your period three times since we started going out," he said. "OMG! We've been going out for three months!" Ahhh.
The joys of simplicity. 0:) <3 0:)
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| Safety from Eternal Torment |
[21 Nov 2005|09:13pm] |
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mood |
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 dance-ful |
] |
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music |
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Hunchback of Notre Dame OST - Topsy Turvy |
] |
Scared does not even begin to explain the fear I felt in the pit of my stomach when my well-awaited "day of bleeding" did not arrive when I had expected it to.
I was craving sweeets like crazy. Having oreo shakes every day after school. Looking for hidden stashes of Cadbury in my drawers. Well-known symptoms of my monthly days. And on Sunday, my stomach ached like hell, which I thought was a sign that I was finally getting my period on time. False alarm. It never happened.
One day passed.
Then two.
Then three.
Finally Friday arrived and I could take it no longer.
Hello, Doctor [insert difficult Thai name here]!
"It's probably just stress," she said.
What exactly have I been stressing about, Frau Doktor? Uhm. Let's see. Nothing!!!
Shit.
But all that is in the past.
Because, today *today of all days*, a day before my final speech exam, I got my period. While I was walking in the mall, I might add.
So much for wanting to appear in my Esmeralda costume without visible panty lines and a bloated tummy.
So much for looking amazing and confident.
So much for that.
Grrrrr. It's just never my day when I need it to be.
Guess the bright side is I won't be seeing any [insert guy's name here] juniors popping outta my tummy! 0;p
[-My Weekend-]
[-Final Speech Preparations-]
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| HP Fever. |
[17 Nov 2005|12:05am] |
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mood |
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 wicked!!! |
] |
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music |
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HP theme music. |
] |
OMG!
I just got home from watching Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Special Preview at the Emporium. Wheeeee! I rock! <3
*Spoilers ahead!
Don't click below if you don't know the story.*
( What can I say? )
Wait. Did I mention that there were so many hot guys to swoon over in this movie? Lol. Coz there are!
So, when's HP 5 coming out again??? 0:)
[-More HP Fever.-]
[-Gypsy Girl.-]
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| Swallowing Back Tears |
[14 Nov 2005|05:03pm] |
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mood |
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sad |
] |
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music |
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silent tears trickling down my face. |
] |
And just when I thought everything was finally going (pretty) well,
some bitch turns around and stabs me in the back.
Is it really that hard to respect the fact that he means the world to me?
Guys aren't to be trusted. I've learned that from past experiences.
But I always took the liberty of trusting girls, at least once in a while.
So how come the moment I finally open myself up again and admit to a girl that he means the world to me,
she turns around and stabs me in the back by making out with him?
I can't make up my mind which part of it hurts more:
* that he never knew and never will know that he means the world to me,
or
* that she knew and decided to betray me for revenge. --revenge coz she used to like him herself--
All I know is: it hurts.
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| Prince Charming |
[12 Nov 2005|11:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 confused |
] |
| [ |
music |
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So This is Love |
] |
The world is teeming with Prince Charmings.
So how in the world am I supposed to know which one is mine?
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| Pensieve |
[08 Nov 2005|09:43pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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in deep regret.. |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Deep and Meaningless - Rooster |
] |
I finished Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince a few days ago. Finished it in a week. Wish I could have read it earlier, but I kept putting it off.
I'm such a procrastinator.
A Memory I've tampered with:
Angel and He-Who-Cannot-Be-Named were sleeping soundly on a hotel bed. Or so it seemed. One of them lay awake --guess who? Yes, Angel lay there, with her eyes open, watching the boy she had learned to care for while he slept. She could hear his steady breathing. She could hear the trains pass by. She could hear people arguing in the halls. But despite all that, she could also hear her own thoughts racing in her head.
"Say it. Say it. Say it."
She kissed his bare shoulder as he smiled in his sleep. But just when she was about to blurt out those three words, the boy beside her opened his eyes. He looked at her and smiled.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"Nothing," she shook her head, half-smiling.
"Tell me," he begged, softly.
A fog swept across the memory and Angel's voice came booming, louder and more prominent than in a usual memory. "I love you," she said.
The memory fades.
Too bad I'm too chicken-shit in real life.
Now I'll never know if he feels the same away. Or if he even cares.
Mike O'Neal, in My Best Friend's Wedding, said:
"If you love someone, you say it. Right then, out loud. Otherwise the moment just passes you by."
Well, my moment passed me by.
And I didn't do jackshit about it.
Is it really too late?
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| Even iPods are anorexic now! |
[03 Nov 2005|09:27pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 depressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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sings: "i don't care. i just wanna be THIN." |
] |
Yes. Have you noticed?
Even iPods are anorexic now!
The iPod Nano is the skinniest thing I've seen in the world. That, and a pencil, that is.
Everyone around me seems to be losing weight.
How come I'm not?
I mean, I don't eat a lot. I exercise regularly *that is, when I'm not dead-tired*. I've cut down on the munchie-full drugs --really!
But how come I still weigh ten kilos more than I weighed in Manila?
And how come everyone else I know is getting skinnier and skinnier?
Is there a secret that has not been revealed to me?
If so, SHARE IT PLEASE!!!
I need it much more than you do. Trust me. 0:(
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| The Wrong Impression |
[02 Nov 2005|11:27pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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crushed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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whirrr.. whirrr.. whirrr.. |
] |
People see me as this little slut, for some strange reason.
Honestly. It has come to the point that it actually pisses me off.
I mean.....
~ they suspect some dude of cheating on his girl and immediately -- they suspect he's cheating on her with me!
~ some random dude in Zantika came up to me and assumed I would flirt back.
~ some random dude in Khao San tried to chat me up in the middle of the day.
~ a guy I just met asked if I would "go for him". We just met.
~ guys, in general, assume that i would sleep with them if they ask nicely.
~ when i walk down Nana with a farang guy, they think I'm a whore they picked up.
~ same thing goes for when I book a hotel room with a guy.
~ when sex or lust is mentioned in class, all eyes automatically turn to me.
~ problems with sex? questions about the act? everyone turns to me.
Maybe I was born to be a slut.
Or maybe I really am one.
*ouch*
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| A Week with My Past |
[28 Oct 2005|03:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 worried |
] |
| [ |
music |
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my bro singing a lame song..... |
] |
This past week, my so-called "boyfriend" didn't even call. Or text.
Not one single time.
And on Tuesday, who else did I meet at one of my most frequented hang-outs but..... my past !
Yes, my past was there. He usually never goes out. But there he was.
And all the feelings I never thought I could feel again came whooshing back into my body.
The butterflies in my tummy, the frog in my throat, the cat at my tongue, they all existed again.
And when I smelled him when he hugged me. Gawd, his smell!!!
Who knew a scent could trigger so many memories all at once?
I thought I was going to die.
I spent Tuesday night with him. And most of Wednesday.
And we talked. And talked. And talked. And talked.
We did more. But I'd rather not say what they were. He's just my past after all.
But I didn't regret a single thing.
I didn't think of my "boyfriend" a single time, not unless it was to compare him in my mind to the greatness of my past.
It's making me wonder why the hell I'm with my "boyfriend" when all I truly want is my past.
Why am I wasting so much time on someone I don't even give a rat's ass about?!?
I'm seeing my past again tonight.
My "boyfriend" will be there, too.
Lord, give me strength to breathe.
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| So Kiss Me. |
[21 Oct 2005|10:26pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 inspired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Kiss Me - Sixpence none the Richer |
] |
A kiss can do a lot of things.
That's what Rose claimed in I Capture the Castle.
And she was damn right.
I didn't really start thinking about it until recently.
I thought Vivian was crazy in Pretty Woman when she gave Edward that no-kissing-on-the-mouth-rule while having sex --or making love, whichever term you prefer. I would've kissed Eddie over and over and over again.
But that's just me.
Vivian claimed that kissing would create a sort of bond between them, preventing her from doing her job with no strings attached. (for the clueless: she's a hooker --or prostitute-- in the movie!) I thought: "BS! A kiss is just a kiss. Nothing more, nothing less."
Who would've predicted that I would be eating my own words?
When I was eleven, Kathryn showed me a more open-minded, I-don't-give-a-shit-who-I-kiss attitude that I approved of greatly in Cruel Intentions. She was slutty. She was bitchy. She never got her heart broken. She dominated boys' minds. I wanted to be her.
When I hit my teenage years, I got my wish.
Amidst mid-teenagehood, I got a chance to watch Never Been Kissed.
Josie Geller shared her thought on kissing, something she had never experienced before.
That thing, that moment, when you kiss someone and everything around you becomes hazy and the only thing in focus is you and this person and you realize that that person is the only person that you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life, and for one moment you get this amazing gift and you want to laugh and you want to cry because you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared that that it will go away all at the same time.
Once again, I thought: "What a load of bull! A kiss is just a kiss. Nothing more, nothing less."
I am eighteen now.
And I have experienced all you can possibly dream of. Almost.
( Kissing Lessons I've Learned )
I hope you've learned something from this.
And I hope that you kiss with care.
Because if there's one thing I regret in my eighteen years of living, it's giving away too many of my precious kisses that should have all been saved for that guy I mentioned in the previous paragraph.....
.....when I see him again.
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| Pregnancy Blues |
[17 Oct 2005|06:34pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
disappointed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Britney Spears - Someday |
] |
Last week, one of my closest boy buds called me using his girlfriend's phone.
"Angel!!!" He was crying. "She's pregnant."
My tears fell. I knew it. I had a gutfeel and couldn't sleep the entire weekend. I knew something was coming.
It's funny coz my gutfeel led to the horrifying thought that I might be pregnant.
Maybe the condom tore while we were having sex. Maybe we weren't safe enough.
I bought a pregnancy test and everything. But I never used it. I was too chickenshit.
And there it was. She was pregnant.
I told them to come over.
We talked. And talked. And talked.
She wants to kill it. He says he'll support her whatever her decision is.
I know she's not ready for the responsibility of being a mother and she's not good with kids. But I know he will make an amazing dad. And I know that he knows that, too.
And I don't give a fuck about her decision.
The fact of the matter is, that that kid is half my guy friend's. And I will not sit here and watch her kill it only because she doesn't want her parents to find out about her stupidity.
You always have sex without condoms. You weren't responsible in being safe. Deal with the consequences.
It's your fault. Whether it's stupidity or ignorance, I don't give a shit.
Abortion = Murder!
I hope you die along with your kid, if you decide to abort it. It's just not right. It's just not fair.
I have this guy friend, Jayson, whom I looove to bits.
His mum was pregnant with him at sixteen. If she had aborted him the way you plan to abort yours, my lovable Son would not be around. Think about it. And do the right thing..... for once.
Hell, my dad offered to adopt the kid coz he sees that boy bud of mine like his own son.
If my dad would sacrifice everything for your kid, I'd think you'd do the same.
What kind of a human being are you?
Do you even have a heart left after all these years?
Prove it.
Other blogs:
[-
Sembreak-]
[-Crayzee Shopping-]
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| Mommy Dearest |
[12 Oct 2005|09:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 indescribable |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Seth Cohen's version of "A Lack of Color" |
] |
Teenage Girls tend to hate their mothers for various reasons.
No arguments there. Right?
I mean, it's like, God intended us girls to hate our moms for ruining our lives. For being fun-suckers.
Right?
This morning, I thought: Wrong.
Yes, this morning, I started questioning why I hate my mom in the first place.
And I started thinking about why I hated her so much when she went through so much pain just to give birth to me. Imagine the hours of labor and the nine months of carrying me in her womb, indirectly feeding me, and not smoking for so long a time*I think* and she was a Caesarian, too!
I mean, if I went through all that for my kid, I wouldn't quit talking about all the pain whenever he/she pissed me off in some way. Or started hating me the way I have come to hate my mom.
But then I started to think about my teenage years and how all the hate started.
* She invades my privacy. That is, reading my diary, my poetry *no-fuckin-one can read my poetry -- EVER!*, my love letters, looking at private pictures -- make out pics with my then-boyfriend (IMAGINE THE HORROR!!!).
* She was always against my plans of going out. I was never allowed to watch a movie with my friends or go out on a date. I had to be home before dinner if my dad ever persuaded her -- how suck ass is that?
* I was not allowed to have a boyfriend. So I had to have mine behind her back.
* I was not allowed to have a cellphone. So I had to hide mine from her for half a year.
* Boys were not allowed into my room. Not even the ugliest guy friend I had was allowed in there. So I had to sneak guys in. In fact, boys were hardly ever allowed into the house. Hell, I couldn't even meet them outside back in the day, without our gate blocking us from each other.
* Nine p.m. phone curfew. The latest I could stay on was ten.
* Two hour online curfew. I couldn't even chat with boys. Argh!
And, of course:
* The endless sermons. I hate her voice. Imagine listening to it for hours on end about stupid shit.
Now, I no longer wonder why I've hated her so much for so long already.
Yes, the hatred is back again.
And yes, it's stronger than ever.
For other stuff I've written, click here:
On Guys I want: http://spaces.msn.com/members/squooshyboo
On Skipping Class for Shesha: http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=oZ_aNgeL_oZ&tab=weblogs&uid=365913832
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| breatheeeee.......... |
[09 Oct 2005|05:06pm] |
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mood |
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 .fed up. |
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music |
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Death Cab Songs |
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I have never been so stressed in my entire life. >.<
I'm glad the midterms are over. I'm glad the fights are over. And for some strange reason, right now, I'm glad our friendship is over.
You've done nothing but put me down since day one, all because you've been jealous of me getting the guys I want. It drove you nuts to the brink of destruction. Well, guess what? I am no longer going to put back the pieces for you.
You never understood me. So don't tell me you know what I'm going through right now. Because you could never understand the beginning of my problems. All you've ever done is live your life through me. And if you'll die because I've had enough of you, I'll stand by your corpse and cry for you. But it doesn't mean I cared.
I am not the girl I used to be. I used to swallow my hate for you and let it slip. I would pay for you, laugh with you and bring you wherever you wanted to go. But now I'm a woman and I've learned to say "no". And I admit that your shit has finally gotten to me.
You may ask why. Why am I so angry at you?
Think back on these past few months. Can you call yourself a true friend? Can you? Really? Well, screw how you think. You never had a brain, anyhoo.
Someone said, "Drama is a situation girls create themselves based on jealousy."
Just to make things clear: I'm not jealous of you. I never have been.
We all know it's the other way around.
You're a loser. You have no friends. It was all about pity. But now you've been talking shit. And if you think I'm the one who can't live without you, let's part ways and see who dies first.
Loser gets him. Oh, I forgot, he's mine already.
I don't even know anymore why I've been putting up with you.
Don't flatter yourself. The stress wasn't because of you.
Read about my current relationship:
http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=oZ_aNgeL_oZ&tab=weblogs&uid=363755579
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| The Outlaws |
[29 Sep 2005|11:31pm] |
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mood |
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 aggravated |
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music |
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KILL.. KILL.. KILL.. THAKSIN.. |
] |
How can anyone outlaw cigarettes? Seriously. Serious-fuckin'-ly!
I mean, fine. If you legalize Marijuana and then outlaw Cigarettes, with the reason being that MJ doesn't kill anyone like Fags do, then fine. Outlaw it all you want, Mr. Thaksin Shinawatra! *That's the loser-of-a-Prime-Minister I have to deal with while I'm in Thailand, btw!*
I don't care who reads this. I wish Thaksin would read this himself, actually. In fact, you can come into my class - like a certain someone did today - and make parinig to the entire world that I'm being such a bitch about it.
But seriously: WHAT IS YOUR FUCKIN' POINT BY DOING THIS???
You think Thailand is gonna magically turn into this perfect city - without pollution, without people dying from lung cancer, without innocent babies getting sick from cigarette smoke, without addiction to tobacco - just because you outlawed cigarettes?
Well, guess what?
* I walked into 7-11 ten days ago and I got me a pack of Marlboro Lights. Sure, there was a huge white sheet covering their stash of cigarettes, but those salespeople just lifted the sheet and sold me a pack *after making sure no one could see them hand it to me*. I didn't even notice that cigs were outlawed then.
* A week ago, my taxi drove by Pacific Liquors near Sukhumvit Soi 22 and it was closed. Barred-Closed.
* Five days ago, I bought a pack of Marlboro Lights on the streets. My friend was wondering where I got it. "It's called magic," I replied, not asking why he asked in the first place.
* Today, I was skating in my parking lot when I felt this need for a cig. So I went to the mini-mart. The cigs weren't where they're usually on display. Strange, indeed! So, I ask the lady and she takes it out from behind the counter. WTF was up with that?!?
Explanation happens while I get souped at my friend's house.
Him: "Soup should be legal. They legalized it in England. *puffs on the J*
Other Him: "Don't you think it's fucked up Thaksin outlawed cigarettes?" *waits impatiently for the J*
Me: "Thaksin outlawed cigarettes???" [insert shocked look here, while puffing on a cigarette]
Him: "Yah, you didn't know?" *takes another puff on the J*
Me: "No wonder strange things have been going on lately."
Him: "In Mini Mart, they cover the babies with white sheets." *takes another puff on the J*
Me: [whispers under breath] "That Fucker."
[Other Him can no longer take it and steals J away from Him.]
Now no one will no longer wonder why I will fail my Political Government midterms.
There is no way anyone will get me to study for Politics now.
What's the point when the country's own Prime Minister is full of shit?!!
My point is, to make it clear, Mr. Thaksin:
NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU OUTLAW SOMETHING, PEOPLE WILL STILL FIND A WAY AROUND IT. ALL SORTS OF DRUGS ARE BEING SOLD ALL AROUND THE COUNTRY, AND YOU'RE WORRYING ABOUT MERE CIGARETTES??? IF YOU THINK THIS IS THE SOLUTION TO LEAD A PERFECT LIFE AND IF YOU THINK THAT BY DOING THIS, YOU WILL FOOL THE WORLD INTO BELIEVING THAT THAILAND IS PERFECT, YOU'RE WRONG.
Besides, I'm pretty sure you're smoking right now yourself.
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